Life..or something like it...

Waiting.
How much of our lives is spent waiting?

waiting for answers to questions...
for the next meal...
the next drink...
for morning...
for the day to end..
for the weekend to begin...
for the all important proposal...
the first contraction that signals the beginning of labor...
for payday...
for summer holidays..
for the good news..
the bad news...
any news...

waiting.

For a sign.
For a sound.
For something.

Not yet.

But soon.

I hate the word soon!

Today...is pregnant with anticipation.
I am awaiting on impending news... a sign... an answer... a promise..
Some of these things are accompanied by pain... grief...suffering and sorrow...
Others by sacrifice...and discipline, effort and resolve...
And another by peace..comfort..joy and hope.

Just waiting.

I think I have been waiting all my life.
Knowing that there is no arriving... while I draw breath.
The journey of life is as important as the destination...
The destination is within us...
Conceived by the very presence of the ONE..
Who outside of time and space...
Inhabits.
Us.
Dwells...
Within.
Us.
Fully.

This is life.
To know Him.
As I am known.
To be in Him.
As He is in me.

Life.

Or something like it....

Wrapped in a blanket...
Struggling to keep warm, I fight back the tears that threaten to spill over.
Following is so much more than just believing.
Today I follow ...
And the trail leads to a grave...
A barren wasteland...
A dark cave... in a storm.
A precipice...
a desert...

These are not destinations...
but steps on a journey...
The destination is not a place...
but a state of being...

Do I believe in life after love?
Didn't Cher sing that line?

No.
I don't.
Life is LOVE.
LOVE is life.

Today, as tears flow...and my heart fails me,
As my eyes pierce the horizon, waiting for redemption..
for a response...
for a rescue...
for an explanation...
a revelation...
a resurrection...

I find myself... acknowledging my limitations..my ignorance,
My finite imagination.

So... I wait.
Anticipating... that the response is... near.
Life.. or something like it...is happening all around me.
Tonight..a lunar eclipse..where the shadow of the earth covers the light of the moon.
A satellite..falls from the sky...
A life lingers on the threshold...
A journey continues...on a blind curve...
Hearts break... and still beat...
Minds reason... and snap
Hands still... clenched in tormented helpless fists....resting on bruised chests.
We hold our breath...
And exhale...yet again...

Birth.
Death.
Success.
Failure.
Justice.
Oppression.
Hope.
Despair.

Life.
And yet not...life...

Today...
In all honesty...
I'll take...
I'd rather...
...something like it....

Just not..this...