5 Things I am Thankful For...Meme

I was tagged by Kelly to write this meme.

Thanksgiving is over.
I got the memo.
Now on to Christmas ...where the partying begins.
That's where the real money is.
You know....the loot...the bounty...the list as long as my arm.
The..."I know they really love me if they buy me....." season.
Or....."They never will, so I might as well prepare myself."
The internal dialogues over the month of December could probably give work to struggling young therapists for decades:

"I can't take being invisible for one more minute.... "
" This Christmas stuff is all fake anyways."
"Why can't they just see who I really am and accept me ?"
"Who said this is the season of giving...I am dying here..alone..."
"I can't afford this ...but I can't tell them..they'll never understand...they'll just think I am a failure."
"I hate them."
"I hate myself."
"WHO the HELL thought up Christmas anyways?"

There are millions, in this country alone, during this season, experiencing: loneliness, despair, terminal illness, abuse, abandonment, financial ruin, suicidal thoughts, debilitating fears and so on.
Oh God.
Thankful?
Damn straight!
I have not walked this earth for 40 years without my share of some of the above.
My journey has had some plot twists that I would never have chosen to put into the script.
But I am not writing my story...that falls into far better hands than mine.
Today I am simply grateful to be able to proclaim:

1. I am thankful for AWARENESS
I have always known there was a God. I have always known it is not just the destination..but the journey itself. I know I have never been alone...
That I can say the name of God with any intimacy or any clarity whatsoever...I am aware..is a miracle.
I am aware that love does not originate in me but fills me and flows through me....for this awareness I am thankful.

2. I am thankful for GRACE
Without it I could not breathe...I could not look on others with love... I could not accept myself.
It sustains me in my dark places...where I have failed..and continue to struggle.
It accomplishes the miracle of allowing me to call myself child of God.
The bible says GRACE ABOUNDS....that I can handle.
Abounding GRACE... for this I am thankful.

3. I am thankful for BELIEF
The knowledge that God believes in me and thus creates the ability for me to believe in him...is truly the foundational element of my entire existence. The capacity to believe and keep on believing is rooted in the knowledge that HE keeps me there...thank GOD...yes you God...for this I give deep thanks.

4. I am thankful for TRUST
In a world full of broken trust, you might ask how this is possible.
Am I perfectly trustworthy?
Have I ever broken my word?
The answers are no and yes.
How does that foster a thankfulness for TRUST you wonder....
Well...
There is not a person on the planet who is worthy of all trust.
PERIOD.
But still I choose to trust and work at holding the trust of those God has chosen to share my life with. I trust the Father's ability to hold all things together in the midst of utter chaos...
I trust his knowledge of the present, his interpretation of the past and his design for the future. How it all plays out is in his court.
Sometimes I hurt people.
Most definitely not on purpose.
It is possible to hurt someone by simply being you... in the moment.
And sometimes I am wrong.
I trust God to redeem those moments and balance it all out...because I am not capable of explaining things as clearly as he is.
I trust him to make me worthy of the trust of others...and to keep trust with me.
For this I am thankful.

5. I am thankful for HOPE
A long time ago I wrote in a journal this statement:

"Hope is never lost ... it is abandoned..."
I still hold to that statement, but I would like to add to it:

"Hope is never lost...it is abandoned...but though abandoned it still does it's work."

That is not meant as a criticism to those who feel they are without hope.

The truth is...until our last breath and beyond there is hope, whether we believe in it or not.
We were not the architects of our creation...what gives us the right or ability to say what is and is not possible?
There is a force at work in the world...in us.
It is woven into our parts.
It beats with our hearts.
Courses through our veins.
Resonates with every breath.
It is like the seed of a plant that falls into a crack in the pavement or in the crevice of a rock. Over time and with great effort the plant breaks free and makes its way towards the sun though hard pressed on every side.
The goal is the sun.
Plants surge towards it....trees throw up their many limbed arms in glorious panoramic worship....birds sing at rising and setting...waters reflect its light.
With all of creation around indicating that seasons are not permanent...dawn always approaches...the storm always ends...life finds a way...

Hope springs eternal because its source is in THE ETERNAL.

..And the Eternal never abandons.. He cannot. He is constant. He is present. Always.

Now ABIDES these three things... faith ...HOPE and Love...
Hope ABIDES...it cannot be lost...for this I am truly thankful.

Thankfulness is a state of being...not limited to good times, gift giving...or turkey infested holidays. It exists in bodies racked with pain, children who have next to nothing...men who have lost their jobs...women who have lost their babies....it can be found in the darkest of places, in the most confining of prisons around the world.

Thanks be to God.