The harsh ring of the telephone awoke me around 7am. It rang only once depriving me of the privilege of seeing the number come up on call display and subsequently calling the poor miserable soul who disturbed my Saturday morning sleep-in and giving them WHAT FOR???
I lay in bed with that grit your teeth knowledge that further sleep was a fantasy fast growing ridiculous by the fact that two of my sons were awake in the living room and one was industriously stirring up the coals and rebuilding the fire in the wood stove.
My first intellectual reading of the day came from: "The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes" which has irretrievably set the tone for my day....and I quote:
"Despite that amazing display of cunning, reflex and physical prowess, your tail still has a death grip on your butt."
Ahhhh the incomparable wisdom. Matchless. Priceless. Ruthless.
What can I say?
Rob Bell...of Velvet Elvis fame...and myriad NOOMA videos, has just released his latest clip called Name. One of the most freeing statements he makes is this:
"You have to claim your past...you might not like it, be proud of it or anything ..but you have to own it. It is yours."
Rob Bell....Calvin and Hobbes...
who da thunk it?
I look back over the years and yep...they're still there. Firmly attached. I can't do anything about it. Sure I try...I chase my tail with the best of them. In fact I have regular Olympic Style events randomly scheduled in. I award myself prizes and plan future events based on my level of proficiency at the moment.
Like Hobbes I lay out on the floor after such an event and feebly request:
"Could you stop the room please, I'd like to get off!"
And I do sometimes. I just get off at that stop.
I pull the cord...
I walk to the nearest exit.
I get off.
The problem is, at that moment...I am nowhere. I am trapped by something that no longer exists. I am defined by something that IS NOT NOW.... and IS NOT ME.
I ask myself questions all day long because I am suspicious of my own opinion which comes out as statements of fact quite regularly. Oh sure..there are things I am sure of...I am sure of God. I don't understand him, but that has never been a prerequisite.
I know my story, however, my interpretation of my story as it has unfolded for 40 years is in constant rewriting mode. I realize that I can only be where I am at in the moment and that in the moment I only have the wisdom present at the time. Which is why...the past remains firmly attached to my BUTT. Because God in his wisdom is making all things new...including me. He allows me and causes me to grow and as I pursue HIM..even without fully understanding him, I see the landscape more clearly.
The future is unknown.
The past is known...but in need of perspective...
Basically as I grow, God gives me improved vision...at 40 this is a good thing.
The catch is: I have to LOOK in order to see.
I have to own my story.
And I need to let God be the one who tells it.
Because even though we both were there...I think he always had the best seat.
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3 comments:
Babe, I've just stated reading Velvet Elvis. Feel like everything I've been talking about for the last couple of years, he's written in the first chapter or two. I love when that happens.
PS. Your tail is really very cute. I especially like the little kink in the end where you sat on it.
Aahhh...velvet Elvis....I have read it three times in the last two weeks as if it has become my new bible. Suddenly , I get it on so many levels. and I pull the cord....and I get off too...I so understand you, My friend. I so love to read your ramblings and live superficially under the epidermis of your descriptives. They comfort me, much. Love you!
Hi, Juanita.
I just stopped by via Kelly's blog...and thought I'd say hello.
And I'm sorry.
With my very patchy memory, and my lack of eagerness to look behind me, I know I hurt you, but I don't know what I did.
That doesn't make it okay...but I wanted to say hello anyways...maybe this is stupid..but I am alot more impulsive these days...
Peace.
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